How come?

I'm terrified of using my gorgeous new stash for quilts?  Huh?  I'm perfectly happy to cut for doll clothing, but touching the fabric for a real quilt?  Ack!  At least with knitting I can always frog, and I do, constantly.  But how can you frog if you've cut the fabric?

And that's enough blogging for the century.  3 posts in one day is a bit much.  I'll probably have nothing to say for a month or two.

My mom.

I had lunch with my mom today.  She's so old, almost 97, and fragile, and tiny and frail, and I'm sitting here typing this with tears running down my face because I miss the Mommie of old.  I would so love to have last year's Mommie.  She's gone way downhill in the last few months.  Still in good spirits and eats well (if the folks cut up her food, which they do), and certainly knows who I am, who the Hubs is, and who Penny is.  She knows my sister and our kids, but The Hubs, Miss P and I are the ones who seem to most resonate with her.  Funny how that is.  She's clearly got a connection to her 9 year old granddaughter.  And I give Pen full credit for that.  That child is so sweet and kind and gentle with old folks.  She's a marvel.  Could be because she has ancient great grandparents.  On her dad's side, she has her great grandma and Leonard, who is about 102.  and on my side she has my mom.  But little kids are often impatient with or don't uncomfortable with elderly folks.  Not this kid.

But I do miss my mom of last year.  Of last winter.  And I wonder how long she'll be with us.  The beauty of blogland is that I can write this, where I would not cry in front of friends or relatives.  I rarely cry.  But because you are all anonymous, I can let go here.  Funny thing, no?  I don't have to do the tower of strength thing here.  If we passed each other on the street, you wouldn't know who I am.

The sweetest thing my mom says to me with every visit, well, when she's awake, is "I love you."  I'm so fortunate to have her. '

Scrabblequeen - That's my relationship with my mom, too.  I've fought with her from 13 to forever, and I've never won an argument.  Ever. She used to tell me that the day I won a battle with her, she's be in her grave.  How I would dearly love to have an argument with her now.  Still, to have your mother for 67 years is wonderful, and I'll take what I have.

Grace - I was at the doctor's today with a UTI, and I just had to talk to him about my mom.  He's also her doctor, and he really understands her issues.  He told me that 2 things would get her:  an infection, or she would stop eating.  She's still eating, but is so frail that any infection would probably do her in.  He was so kind and understanding.  He's not a geriatrician; she's his oldest patient, but he knows old people.  Great guy, indeed.

Repaired breakfast

I made 2 sweet breads the other day, each one half of the dough.  Both rolled out and one smeared with lekvar, and the other with a bit of melted butter and cinnamon and sugar.  Scarfed down the lekvar bread.  Froze the cinnamon one.

Defrosted the cinnamon bread on Saturday, and today attempted to consume the last little bit of it.  Stale, really stale.

Here I am with a lovely cup of ctc Assam tea and stale cinnamon bread.  However, I had a brilliant idea:  I would dunk the bits of bread into the tea.  Hey, they were almost as stale as a cracker.  Guess what?  The bread is delicious.  Whadda woman!

9/11

Today I have to share my 9/11 memories.  They are as alive for me as if they just happened.

10 years ago, I was driving to work.  It was a glorious September day; the sun was shining, the trees were still green, the kind of day that made you happy to be alive.  I'm not a big organized religion person, although I am most definitely Jewish and love my religion very much.  I pray, but not asking for things, but in gratitude for whatever I want to be thankful for. I'm rarely in synagogue, because I'm not a group person, but I have a relationship with G-d that is at the core of my being.  So, on 9/11/01, I was driving along 124 in New Jersey and thanking G-d for such a beautiful day and for me being able to appreciate it.

The radio was on, as usual, and I was listening to my favorite classical music station.  And then the music was interrupted and on came the news.  At that point I was stopped at a light.  And I was in a state of disbelief.  What, the Twin Towers had been attacked?  No.  Not possible.  But this is the radio station of the New York Times; they don't play tricks on listeners.  So the light changed and I drove on, and as I made my way under a bridge, the news continued and I started to cry.  And pray.  And hope.  I can remember it as if it were today.

All those innocent people.  Those poor folks on the planes.  The firefighters.  The horror.  And all because some bastards want to destroy the US in the name of their G-d.  Folks, there are many paths to G-d for many people.  And none of them demand that innocent lives be destroyed.  G-d didn't create us to have us destroy each other in His/Her name.  People go to battle and say that G-d will grant them victory. That's how battles are decided.  Right.  Uh huh. By G-d choosing one side or another. Would G-d really do that?  We ate of the Tree of Knowledge, and this is now our responsibility to be humane.  We were created in G-d's image, and now we take that image and destroy it.   And G-d weeps because people use Her/His name in vain to destroy G-d's creation. 

There is nothing else to say.  May G-d, who made us, keep us safe and secure in our homes.  May G-d. who loves us, never have to weep again at the deaths of innocents.  May there be peace among the nations, and may the lion and the lamb lie down together, and may all humanity say Amen.

Nope, not me.

I will NOT look at more fabric. I will stay away from quilt shops and Joanne's. I will NOT look at Hawthorne Threads, or E-Quilter, or Fat Quarter Shop. I will not even think of checking out Charmpacksplus, or Green Fairy Quilts or Fabric.com or Fabric Depot or Hancock's of Paducah or Missouri Star Quilt or anyplace else. I will stay away from Etsy fabric shops. I will NOT buy anything any more!  I will not add any more online shops to my list.  I will behave as a responsible adult.

You believe that? Sigh. I have an entire tub plus innumerable zip lock bags of fabric. I need Fabric Anonymous. I'm not looking, you bad enablers. Did you read that? No fabric for me any more.  And forget responsibility.  I'm 67; I don't have to act as an adult any more.  I will be a curmudgeon.  and not buy any more fabric.  Did you hear me?  No more!

Did you notice that innumerable has 2 "n" and only one "m"? I do love spell check; it's like recommendation. That one has 2 "m". why? The English language is such fun to spell. Good thing that I love it dearly. Wouldn't want to have any other language as my mother tongue.

Shawl To Go

I was happily futzing around with sock yarn and making the beginnings of a shawl when it occurred to me that doll shawls start off with the same numbers as people shawls! Now I get to have lots of fun with very little work, and can make all sorts of cutie designs and now worry that people will find them too fussy or silly or whatever. The dolls don't care; I can assure you of that.

BTW, if you think I'm going off the deep end with all this doll clothing stuff, guess what? It is such fun. They garments go quickly, almost instant gratification, and I get to play. If knitting and crocheting and sewing can't be play, then what's the point of it all. So, go find a cute doll at a garage sale. If you are embarrassed to buy it, tell folks that the doll is for your niece, daughter, grand, whatever. And then you too can have all this fun.

Shawl To Go: a wherever and whenever shawl. Pretty functional, ties around the back if you wish so that those ends don't end up in your soup or kneading bowl. Or you can wear it in a number of other ways.

And here she is with her buddy, who is also wearing new duds.

Scrabblequeen - Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself. Finished objects, indeed! I think I might do another one tonight.
Wall-to-wall books - Isn't it adorable?  Now I want to do more and more.  My grands are the beneficiaries of all this doll madness.

Alive and well.

Yep, I'm back to whatever passes for normal around here.  Thanks for all your good wishes; they helped a lot.

We survived Irene very well.  Lucky for us, there are no rivers nearby, we are a good hour from the coast, and the Hubbo The Great had 2 pumps going plus his bilge pump, so the flood at the top of the driveway did not cause damage.  Don't even ask why it floods there; we don't know.  We called in 3 folks to give us estimates and tell us what to do.  Big joke.  We hired one, and we're still waiting and waiting to hear from him.  This was about 2 months ago!  Good thing we didn't give a deposit.

Off to sew.  I finished a cutie patootie shawl for the dolls, and I'm also doing a neato sweater for them.  I'll post pics when the light is better.

Happy September to you all!