Saturday, February 23, 2008

Schwinkelberries: Part 1.

I recently got a snail mail letter from Dorita La Chipa, the world's only known expert on schwinkelberries. Dr. La Chipa, who also is known as DCL (Dorito Chip Lady) works out of a storage closet in an unnamed building on the SI (Staten Island Expressway). Her funding is so limited that this is all she can afford. She and I have been in correspondence for a number of years. Hubbo first mentioned schwinkelberries to me. It seems he found a scrap of paper with information about them on it and of course, DCL's address. No phone; she can't afford it. All her available monies go towards research.

Anyhow, she knows I have a blog, and she thought this would be a good place to disseminate information on the above mentioned schwinkelberries. So, out of pity for this poor lady, who basically lives on corn chips, I've acquiesced, and will occasionally post about these little known berries.

First of all, what are schwinkelberries? They are an aggregate fruit somewhat like raspberries. Aggregate fruit are multiple fruits with seeds from different ovaries of a single flower

They range in color from royal blue with yellow dots to puke green with yellow dots to bright orange with no dots. The orange ones are the subject of DCL's research.

Their natural habitat is in the Liechtenstein area of Europe just on the border between Liechtenstein and the Rhine River. Their fruiting season is from June 5 to July 5. They are so obscure that the only people who know about them, other than Dr. La Chipa, are the inhabitants of a little village of 27 souls on the riverbank. The town is so small that it doesn't have a name. The folks who live there are referred to as "the people who live down by the riverside, down by the riverside, down by the riverside".

To be continued...

Anonymous - According to Dr. La Chipa, the correct spelling is schwinkelberries. And yes, you can loosen labels from jars with a solution of the berries, water ,and lime juice.

Carolyn - Dorita informs me that she is working on that right now. Although, so far, it seems to produce wrinkles, not remove them. Still, an interesting idea.

knittyvritti - Would I lie to you? Would a fine, upstanding member of society tell a fib? What, are you nuts? Stay tuned for further chapters in the Schwinkelberrie Chronicle.


Anonymous said...

I think the proper pronunciation is schvinkeberries, as in schvinkle, schvinkle little star. I have heard that shwinkelberries can be used to make a tea, which is effective in loosening labels from glass jars. Is this true?

Carolyn said...

Umm. Is part 2 of your entry going to address their potential for removing facial wrinkles?

knittyvritti said...

is this some kind of former librarian joke or are there really schwinkelberries? bet you guys really confused each other in the days before google.....p.s., i am very gullible, and likely to start getting quite confused.


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